Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
