break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
