doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
