brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
