how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
