I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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