Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So much Jack, so little girl.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
