I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
ttyl tear gas
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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