I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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