There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
