Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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