I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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