She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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