My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
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He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
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You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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