Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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