I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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