I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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