It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
