so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
