a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
