She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
