I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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