shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
