some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
