i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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