so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I CAN MOONWALK!
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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