Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
