Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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