Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
