dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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