What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
