I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
