brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
