i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
