WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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