3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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