i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
