a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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