Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
