booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
