I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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