This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
