Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
