Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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