so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
