i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
