your parents love me but you hate me
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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