So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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