If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
