He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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