I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize