How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
