Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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