we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
