I got chris browned last night
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
wakey wakey hands off snakey
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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