he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
