I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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