I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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