i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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