I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
