I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
