Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
