this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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