Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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