How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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