That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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